New research: What we can learn from neurotic people

We don't even need to be able to explain exactly what the term means to know: Nobody likes being neurotic. Neuroticism has always had a firm place in the so-called Big Five model, which psychologists traditionally use to describe a person's personality – it's a character trait that can be more or less pronounced in all of us. If it's strongly pronounced in us, it means we tend to be nervous and restless, are easily irritable and impulsive, get upset easily, and are only slightly better at regulating our emotions than a toddler.

As we can imagine, these aren't the best conditions for harmonious, relaxed, conflict-free relationships—and this is also confirmed by past studies on this topic. The general consensus is that long-term friendships, partnerships, and other social connections aren't a given for neurotic people, partly because they don't handle conflict well.

A new study from Singapore offers reason to cast doubt on previous views on neuroticism and its compatibility with relationships and conflict: Apparently, neurotic people are far less bad at conflict resolution than assumed.

Self-perception and perception of others: Neurotic people are too strict with themselves

In contrast to previous studies, the research team from Singapore not only had the neurotic test subjects themselves rate their ability to deal with conflict, but also surveyed independent observers. Participants who, according to standardized questionnaires, exhibited more pronounced neuroticism were first exposed to a conflict with another person and recorded the interaction. They also asked the test subjects to generally rate their ability in conflict situations.

The research team then showed the recordings to uninvolved people. The results showed that the neurotic test subjects assessed their own abilities significantly more harshly and negatively than the neutral observers. Participants who, in addition to pronounced neuroticism, also exhibited high levels of conscientiousness—another Big Five trait—frequently even proved to be constructive and exemplary participants in conflicts, according to the observers. Therefore, the assumption of a connection between neuroticism and an inability to resolve conflicts could be due to an overly critical self-image.

Our character sets no limits

Most people have to learn how to deal with conflict. Whether neurotic, extroverted, conscientious, or open-minded, hardly anyone is born with a natural talent for handling difficult situations. Even though it may appear easy for some from the outside, they may constantly feel like they are failing. The fact that more neurotic people judge themselves more negatively than less neurotic ones may be partly rooted in this character trait itself. But in combination with other facets of their personality—for example, conscientiousness—this can lead to strengths and advantages.

The extent to which certain character traits are present in us can and will certainly influence how we deal with challenges, conduct relationships, and feel about ourselves. However, it doesn't make us less suited than other people to finding a path in all areas of our lives that we feel comfortable with—both while we're on it and when we look back on it.

Brigitte

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