Why the renaming of playgrounds in Cologne is causing a stir

As a young father, I must have spent hundreds of hours, perhaps thousands, on German playgrounds. There, for the sake of my giggling offspring, I sat on a cracked ping-pong table due to the lack of a bench, listening to the squeaking of porous swings, and longing for a cappuccino.

And I learned: The name “playground” is the least of the problems in these strange, still often dreary places that the aging republic has painstakingly wrested from itself to entertain its ever-dwindling number of children.

The Cologne City Council doesn't like the name "playground." It's too "limiting" and outdated. The name doesn't reflect "the broader concept of inclusion," which "considers the diversity of users in terms of their age, cultural background, and possible disabilities," according to the statement.

So, after a two-year word-finding process, the administration proposed to the Youth Welfare Committee that the 700 municipal playgrounds be renamed "play and activity areas." A good 2,000 new signs would be needed for this. After all, playgrounds are places for "different age and target groups." Not only children play there.

That's true, one might cynically reply. Indeed, playgrounds aren't just for children. Drugs are also injected, beer bottles are emptied, joints are smoked, teenagers are bullied, seesaws are destroyed, and walls are graffiti-covered.

It would be more important to finally address these genuine grievances across the board, rather than worrying about new signs in a semantic over-caution. But hey, that's obviously easier and cheaper than lovingly and financially transforming the 100,000 or so playgrounds in Germany into magical adventure parks. It doesn't have to be a cappuccino stand.

No more restrictions: According to plans by the city administration, the planned new sign with the designation "Play and Activity Area" should be placed at playgrounds in Cologne.

Source: City of Cologne/dpa

A quick question about Cologne: Is this still possible? It's as if the city has been gripped by a whole new ambition in the competition "How far can a city administration stray from common sense?"

What child would seriously say, "Bye, Mommy, I'm going to the play area with Anna?" And if this bureaucratic word monster is only meant to serve as administrative jargon anyway, why not choose a nice expression that people have actually been using and understanding successfully for decades, like "playground"?

As a concerned Cologne administrator, you'd have to be seriously lost in inclusion theory to read any ambiguity or even discriminatory exclusionary effects into the perfectly appropriate term "playground." It's a typical example of good intentions gone awry.

Longing for a cappuccino: Many German playgrounds are not pleasant adventure worlds for either children or parents.

Source: Monika Skolimowska/dpa

The design of the new signs alone cost 38,000 euros – not including production and installation. I'd like to know when a confused grandfather last stood hesitantly in front of a playground, wondering whether he, or only his grandson, was allowed to enter?

Naturally, the waves were high. And rightly so. The Cologne "playground" controversy reflects the miserable German trend toward a rigorous, educational approach that, while harboring the best of intentions, strayed far from sound judgment and down-to-earth pragmatism and severely irritated many, not just in the reactionary political camp. Has a single person anywhere in this country ever felt excluded, even for a second, by the word "playground"?

Not everyone feels included? So why don't we just call playgrounds "Age-independent play, recreation, and activity areas designed to increase public satisfaction, including all people residing in the city of Cologne, regardless of gender, ethnicity, religion, ideology, disability, age, or sexual orientation"? Then the signs might be a bit more expensive, but at least there's no risk of discrimination.

Is against the renaming of the playgrounds: the non-partisan mayor of Cologne, Henriette Reker.

Source: Christoph Reichwein/dpa

Cologne's non-partisan mayor, Henriette Reker, has recognized that the issue rightly triggers countless people – and has thwarted the overzealous administration: "Personally, I find the term 'playground' clear and understandable," she said. She also said, "given the challenges facing Cologne, I have no understanding of why the administration is concerned with redesigning playground signs." The Cologne City Council is scheduled to address the issue on Friday.

As a universal everyday tool, language is an important battleground for cultural struggles. Its power in cementing injustices is undisputed; greater sensitivity is urgently needed. And of course, the West won't collapse because a "playground" is now supposed to be called a "play and activity area." But: The case is a symbol of a rampant moral frenzy that far too often results in academic fussiness that is unsuitable for everyday life.

And who says that "playing" is just for children? It's possible that in Cologne's administrative offices, one inevitably loses any desire to play. But playing is age-independent. Anyone can play, not just children! It would be very beneficial for the adult world to make more room for open-ended play in life – then there would be less time for idiotic brainwaves in city halls.