As long as there are weapons and money, crime in Mexico is unstoppable.

Two showgirls, whom they hadn't seen for some time, met on the street . One of them had put on some flesh, especially her rear end. The other looked at her closely and said with malicious intent: "I see, Nalgarina, that you've expanded your business." The bank manager came out of his office and went out into the street , and a beggar asked him for a few coins. The banker, who was in a hurry, said: "I'll give you something when I get back." "Excuse me," replied the beggar. "I don't trust you." The gentleman, worried because it was already midnight and his daughter's boyfriend hadn't said goodbye, leaned over the second-floor railing and asked: "Rosilí: is Leovigildo there?" "Not yet, Daddy," replied the girl in an agitated voice. "But he's almost there." Ovonio was lazy. I say this without violating Christian charity or good manners. In his entire life, he never worked an eight-hour shift. However, every week he bought a lottery ticket, hoping to strike it rich. He didn't know the instructive verses in "Little by Little," my second-grade reading book: "Never expect money or fortune from luck. Work, child, if you want to own a fortune." One night Ovonio dreamed that a 7 was engraved on each of his cheeks . He bought ticket number 77. The winning ticket was 707... Don Cucoldo entered his house and surprised his wife indulging in sensual acts with a very short man. "Oh, woman!" he demanded with dramatic accents. "And just a week ago, I found you with a man who was two meters tall!" The woman replied: “That will prove to you that I am lowering her.”… Don Martiriano, Doña Jodoncia’s devoted husband , finally gave in to his wife’s repeated insistence that he go see the dentist. “But the dentist has to be a woman,” Don Martiriano dared to condition. “Why?” Doña Jodoncia asked sourly. Don Martiriano explained: “Because I want a woman to say to me, just once, ‘Please open your mouth,’ instead of, ‘Shut your mouth.’”… It would take a tragedy of enormous proportions to get the sale of guns banned in the United States . Their use is commonplace for Americans, and many consider buying and owning guns to be part of their freedom, one of their basic rights. So let’s not expect a miracle in that regard. Nor let’s expect corruption in Mexican customs to disappear . That would be an even greater miracle. The power of our country's criminal groups derives largely from their money and their weapons. If they were hindered from obtaining and using these two important elements, their illicit activities would be made more difficult... Two friends were watching a courtroom movie on TV. One commented: "I don't believe in the effectiveness of those lie detector machines." "I do," affirmed the other. "I'm married to one."... Rosilí, an unmarried girl , announced at home that she was pregnant. "What!" exclaimed her mother, dismayed. Rosilí's father intervened. "Let's not ask stupid questions," he said. "We already know how. What we're interested in knowing is whose."... An elderly man and his young grandson went on a trip , and in a motel on the highway, they had to share the same bed. In the early hours of the morning, the old man begins to shout: “Miracle! Miracle! Bring me a woman! Quickly! I want to make love!” “Grandpa,” the boy told him, “you can’t make love for three reasons. First, because you’re over 90. Second, because you have a weak heart, and your doctor says you shouldn’t make any effort. And third, because what you’re holding in your hand is mine, not yours.”… (I didn’t understand him)… THE END.