Five steps to free yourself from a narcissistic mother
- Chris Oeuvray
Chris Oeuvray
Narcissism specialist Chris Oeuvray explains how narcissistic mothers influence the lives of their children and how those affected can find themselves.
Did your mother do everything for you, and yet you still feel empty? Perhaps you say you had a strong mother, but were you also allowed to be weak? A narcissistic mother doesn't care about you personally, but rather about the image you present. She praises you when others are watching, loves you when you function, and sometimes hurts you just with a smile.
As a long-time psychological counselor, Chris Oeuvray has deep insight and extensive expertise into challenges and conflicts. Her focus is on narcissism and bullying. Her guidebook, "Narcissism – Without Me," helps victims of narcissistic abuse. She was born in 1967 and lives with her partner and son in Zug, Switzerland.
You grew up believing that you're only worth something if you do everything right. That wasn't love; that was achievement. It's time to redefine what love means to you and realize that your worth doesn't depend on perfection.
The following five tips will help you take better care of yourself:
- Accept the truth. It wasn't a healthy maternal bond. This isn't an accusation, but an honest observation.
- Allow yourself some distance, even internally. This isn't betrayal, but self-protection.
- Nurture your inner child. What has been missing? Consciously give it to yourself today.
- Understand that your feelings are valid, even if your mother never acknowledged it.
- Break free from the role. You're no longer the child who has to stay still.
You've already achieved a lot in your life. Recognize your own worth and celebrate your successes. By letting go of old roles, you can live an authentic life based on your own needs and desires.
Today you have the opportunity to determine what love means to you. By treating yourself with care and taking your feelings seriously, you will lay the foundation for a fulfilling life beyond your mother's expectations.
This article is from the EXPERTS Circle – a network of selected experts with in-depth knowledge and many years of experience. The content is based on individual assessments and is aligned with the current state of science and practice.
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